unreligious

1. 2. 3 cigarettes left in the pack. the only difference between then and now is that this is no longer my room. the air outside has cooled significantly and i am really wishing for my fingerless gloves. i have no idea where they got to. smoking out of the bedroom window requires so much effort. cannot sleep right now. i am not even tired. i would call eddie back but i know he needs his rest. i really like how unreligiously i update this. i am at home right now in fort worth and apparently my dad and i are driving to houston tomorrow for yet another thanksgiving. not particularly looking forward to it. it will be nice to be with the family though. messaged back and forth with carlos a bit ago. kind of hinted at the issues i have been experiencing but it does not matter. he has always been so wrapped up in himself. even more so than i am. he is one of the few people i have cried to and i was hoping he might offer a bit of solace. i guessed wrong. i am hoping to begin revamping my wardrobe. needing to get a job before doing so though. nothing i want is all too expensive. it just all adds up. it's hard being without eddie when we've been together so much of late. he's all that i have at this juncture in my life. and really, all that i need. i didn't apply for housing next semester. i am wanting to move back in. wanting to help my dad out with the family. i know it is not my place anymore but i really feel as though i might be able to help at least a little bit. i wouldn't mind sharing a room with alise. i wouldn't even mind sleeping on a cot in the study. or on the couch. i just feel like i need to be here. both for myself and for the well being of the triplets and my dad. i never thought i would be the one offering stability, but i guess that i always did.

i am sorry that i never have anything of particular interest to write about.
so is the life of blace gunter.